Why Someday Is a Dangerous Word

Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and before we know it, moments with family slip away without us fully appreciating them.

Last year, a spontaneous decision to take my in-laws on a cruise turned into one of the most unforgettable experiences we’ve shared.

This story is a reminder that “someday” can be a dangerous word when it comes to making memories.

Sometimes you have to take the time to make the time now.

I started working on this idea in a previous blog "Time Comes Collecting" https://www.fedtofreedom.org/post/time-comes-collecting

Let me take you back to where this started.

Last November, we were on a cruise celebrating my birthday.

My wife and I have grown to love cruising. It’s a convenient way to travel, see new places, and enjoy a variety of experiences all in one trip.

After each cruise, we make a short list of destinations we want to revisit and explore more deeply.

During that trip we were standing on the top deck, holding hands and leaning on the railing.

We were just taking in the salt air, the sunshine, the wonderful breeze rolling over us as the ship cut through the water heading to yet another island.

While we were watching the beautiful blue waves roll by, my wife mentioned how much her parents would enjoy this.

How they would just love the shows, the food, and the whole experience.

She mentioned how her father has always loved the water, yet she was absolutely certain that sadly her mother would never agree to go on a ship.

I held her hand and could see clearly in her face how much she was really wanting to share this time with her family.

Later after having dinner and sitting in a lounge waiting for a show to start, fate stepped in, I received an email with a last-minute deal for a December cruise.

The timing wasn’t perfect. It was boarding only three weeks after the cruise we were currently on.

Did we have time, could we make that work, would her parents even go?

But sometimes the imperfect moment is exactly the right one.

I saw it as the chance to act rather than wait for a “perfect” time that might never come.

My wife was beyond skeptical. She was convinced there was no way I would convince her mother to join us.

But I called anyway.

At first, her mother said exactly what my wife expected.

“No way.”

I was getting the classic “I told you so” look from my lovely bride.

At first, I tried persuasion. I talked about the food, the music, the ports of call. Her response was immediate.

“No way. I will be sick. I am sure of it.”

So, I changed tactics.

“Alice,” I asked, “do you trust me?”

“Yes, of course, Glen.”

“Then trust me. You are going to have a wonderful time, and we really want to do this for you and Jesse.”

There was a long pause.

Then, to my wife’s complete surprise, she said, “Ok, Glen. We are coming with you.”

Yes, I did give my wife the “see, I was right” look.

Booking that cruise turned into an unforgettable adventure.

Both my in-laws loved every part of it. Saying it was like a dream vacation for them.

And for people who immigrated from Africa to Canada, who worked so hard to raise 4 daughters and send them all to college, I was sure a vacation like this was something they had sacrificed many times.

They thanked us repeatedly and told us how wonderful the trip was at every turn.

After we returned home, we were snuggled in on the couch talking about what a great time we had, and my wife said she hoped that someday we could take them again.

That word struck me again.

Someday.

Her parents are now in their late 70s and mid-80s. I found myself thinking about that word all week.

How many somedays do we really have left where their health and energy will allow them to enjoy something like this?

That thought lingered with me.

I turned it over in my mind repeatedly. We’ve spent much of our lives working hard, living far away from our parents and siblings, always believing there would be more time later.

Already in a flash our children are grown, even the grandchildren are growing up so fast it is all a blur.

If we are honest with ourselves, we only have a limited number of trips around the sun, and they go by pretty fast if we aren’t paying attention.

Eventually I said to my wife, “Your parents are in their late 70s and mid-80s. Just how many somedays do we really have?”

We talked about how quickly the years had passed and how many opportunities we had already missed while focusing on work and responsibilities.

I didn't hold back; I told her what I was thinking.

“Look honey, we are able to do this now. So why wait, call them, and ask them.”

She just looked at me, "are you sure Glen?" "Without any honey, call them, ask them, and we will make it happen."

She called them and asked a simple question.

"Mom, would you and dad like to go on a cruise again?”

The answer came quickly and with enthusiasm.

“Yes, oh yes, anytime! We would love it!”

Then I could hear Alice yelling to Jesse on speaker phone.

“Jesse, they want to take us on another cruise!”

A moment later Jesse was on the phone.

In that deep Congolese accent of his, shaped by half a dozen languages and a lifetime of stories, he said something that caught me completely off guard.

“Thank you. Thank you. I love you, son.”

For a second or two that sentence just hung there.

“And I love all of you,” I replied.

I looked over at my wife and saw the joy on her face at how happy she was for her parents' excitement.

In that moment, that little smile on my wife's face, and the quiet tears of happiness welling up in her eyes made it all worthwhile.

We just hugged each other for a long moment, with me telling her I would look at some options.

By the end of the day, it was all booked, and we took them again in February.

A six-day cruise to the Caribbean this time.

And once again, it was a wonderful time together as a family.

A different ship, all new wonder and excitement from Jesse and Alice, new experiences for us all to treasure.

Experiences like that remind you how quickly life moves and how important it is to spend time with the people who matter most while we still can.

Now we’re talking about doing it again, but on a much bigger scale.

The whole family.

My wife’s parents, three sisters-in-law, hopefully our adult children, and even the grandchildren.

Yes, I know what you are thinking.

That is a lot of people, Glen, have you lost your mind?

Just the scheduling alone, Glen, have you lost your mind?

Maybe, yes, and I know, it will absolutely be like herding cats.

But knowing what I know, I can say this with a genuine smile on my face.

This may be one of the rare times in life that I’m actually looking forward to herding some cats.

I wrote this Knowing how truly blessed I am!

Buy Glen a coffee or a beer

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